StudyingFor someone close30 min read

Helping your child study better

Homework that turns into a battle, lessons learned the night before and forgotten the next day, the question of whether to help or step back. This guide explains what a parent can really change, how to help a child revise differently, how to support reading and maths, and when a difficulty deserves professional advice.

Reviewed on September 29, 2026
Dr Zayan Al-Falasi, psychiatrist

In short

This guide is for parents of children aged six to fifteen. It starts from a reassuring finding: what helps a child learn most is not a parent who reteaches the lesson every evening, but a calm routine, clear expectations, help that lets the child do the work, and a few ways of revising whose effectiveness has been demonstrated. It also says what doesn't help, what damages motivation, and which signs show that a difficulty goes beyond method.

Topic: Studying · Attention & focus
Who it's for: For someone close
Languages: FR · EN · DE · IT · ES · ZH · AR

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The programme

This guide is psychoeducational content. It replaces neither the teacher's view nor an assessment. If your child has lasting difficulty reading, writing or counting despite the help given, if they are inattentive or restless in every setting of their life, or if they refuse to go to school, talk to the teacher and the doctor: section 14 says which signs mean you shouldn't wait. If your child talks about dying or is harming themselves, call your doctor the same day or, if there is immediate danger, your country's emergency services. Allow thirty minutes of reading.

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1. Before you begin

How to use it

Read it through once. Then choose one thing to change — the time and place of homework, the way you help with revising a lesson, the way you praise — and keep it up for three weeks. Changing ten things at once mainly creates confusion, for your child and for you.

2. What a parent can really change

What matters most

Research on parents' involvement in schooling gives a clear and somewhat surprising message. The amount of homework help is not what makes the difference. What matters is how it is given.

Involvement that helps looks like this: taking an interest in what the child is learning, holding high expectations expressed with warmth, setting up a regular routine, letting the child do the work and helping them find the answer rather than giving it, seeing mistakes as a step along the way.

Involvement that harms looks like this: constant monitoring, doing it for them, getting angry at mistakes, promising or threatening depending on marks, comparing with a brother, sister or classmate. The child then learns that school is about pressure and judgement, and tries to avoid rather than to understand.

In practice, a parent who understands nothing about secondary-school maths can help a great deal — through the routine, interest and the way they react. A brilliant parent can do harm — if they turn every evening into an exam.

What happens outside homework

Much of what helps a child learn happens away from the desk.

Talking. Everyday conversations, questions, explanations about the world and rich, precise vocabulary feed the understanding of everything that will be read later.

Reading together, and having books at home, from a very young age.

Getting enough sleep. A tired child learns badly, remembers badly and controls themselves badly. It is often the most underestimated lever.

Playing. Board games, construction toys and card games train arithmetic, attention, waiting your turn and coping with losing.

Setting an example. A child who sees their parents read, look things up, learn something new and talk about it understands that learning isn't just for school.

The rest is for members

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What the rest contains

3. What research says
4. The climate: talking about school, praising, reacting to mistakes
5. Homework without the battles
6. Helping them revise differently
7. Reading
8. Maths
9. Attention, screens and work
10. Sleep, the body, meals
11. Motivation
12. Teenagers
13. Talking with the school
14. When your child is struggling
15. Frequently asked questions
16. Key points
17. Sources and foundations

Frequently asked questions

Should I check all their homework? With a young child, a quick look to make sure the work is done, yes. Correcting every mistake, no: the teacher needs to see where your child is. As they grow, replace daily checking with a regular conversation about organisation.

Should we get a private tutor? It can help, especially for a targeted difficulty in one subject, or when homework has become a source of conflict between you. Choose someone who makes your child do the work — explaining, testing themselves, redoing — rather than someone who does the exercises while your child watches. And if the difficulty is deep and lasting — in reading, arithmetic or attention —, an assessment comes before tutoring.

Are holiday workbooks any use? A little reading and a few regular reminders during the holidays limit forgetting, especially after a difficult year. It doesn't need to be a workbook, or to take up whole days. A few minutes, two or three times a week, and lots of reading for pleasure, are enough.

My child says they're useless. Don't contradict them with a "no, you're very clever" that slides off without landing. Go back to the facts: "You're finding this hard at the moment. What's hard, exactly?" Then show them a concrete bit of progress they've made. If the phrase keeps coming back, alongside sadness, withdrawal or refusing to go to school, talk to a professional.

Does speaking two languages at home hold them back at school? No. Bilingualism doesn't cause language disorders or learning disorders. A bilingual child may know fewer words in each of their languages for a while, but not fewer words in total. Keep speaking to them in the language you are most comfortable in. However, a language delay present in both languages deserves advice.

Should I let them fail a test so they learn? For a teenager and a modest stake, letting a consequence happen can be instructive, provided you talk about it afterwards to draw out a method, not a moral lesson. For a young child, repeated failure without help mainly teaches that effort is pointless.

My child learns very quickly and is bored. What should I do? Offer depth rather than getting ahead: richer books, projects, open questions, activities where they have to make a real effort. A very able child who has never had to persevere can be thrown the day things become difficult; learning to struggle is also part of what they need to learn. Talk it over with the teacher.

Do video games harm school results? What weighs most is not the game itself, but what it replaces and when it happens: sleep, homework, reading, physical activity. Game time with clear limits, after work and well before bedtime, rarely causes problems. A genuine loss of control, with other activities abandoned and major conflicts, justifies advice.

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