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EmotionsFor everyone35 min read

Emotion regulation: the toolkit

A tool that works at intensity 4 does not work at intensity 9. This programme sorts the evidence-based strategies into four drawers — before, when it is strong, when it is moderate, afterwards — and comes with twelve printable worksheets.

In short

This programme is for someone who regularly feels overwhelmed by what they feel: anger that goes off too fast, anxiety that takes over the day, sadness that settles in, shame that makes you disappear. It does not propose suppressing emotions, which does not work, but choosing the right strategy at the right moment — and the rule is the intensity, not the emotion. Twelve printable worksheets come with the text.

Topic
Emotions
Who it's for
For everyone
Languages
FR · EN · DE · IT · ES · ZH · AR

Français · English · Deutsch · Italiano · Español · 中文 · العربية

The programme

This programme supports personal work or ongoing treatment; it does not replace it. It makes no diagnosis. If you are hurting yourself physically, if you are thinking about dying, or if the intensity of what you feel makes you fear for your safety or that of someone close to you, emotion regulation is not what you need first: contact a professional this week, and your local emergency services immediately if there is danger. Some of the difficulties described here accompany depression, an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder or ADHD — section 17 explains how to recognise them.

1. Before you start

You snapped at someone you love, over an ordinary sentence. You spent the night replaying a three-minute conversation. You cancelled an evening you had been looking forward to because the idea of going out became unbearable within an hour. You sent a message you reread the next day with a cold feeling in your stomach. Or else you no longer feel much of anything, and that worries you more.

And you already know the advice. Breathe. Take a step back. Keep it in proportion. Don't let it take over. You have tried all of it, precisely at the moment when none of it could be applied — and it gave you nothing.

The rest is for members

Create your access to read this programme in full, along with every other resource.

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Printable worksheets

The exercises from this programme, as printable PDFs. Members only.

See the plansThe printable worksheets are included with access.
  1. 01The thermometer and the choosing ruleRead this one first: which tool to reach for, and when.
  2. 02Naming what I feelA precise word lowers the intensity and starts thinking again.
  3. 03The emotion logSeven days of observation. This is the sheet that makes all the others useful.
  4. 04The SOS card — intensity 8 to 10Fold it and keep it on you. Goal: get through twenty minutes without making anything worse.
  5. 05Slow breathingSix breaths a minute, five minutes. The only tool that works on the body with no equipment.
  6. 06Check the facts, then reappraiseIntensity 4 to 7. Emotion follows interpretation, so we are going to check the interpretation.
  7. 07Opposite actionWhen the emotion fits the facts but the action it demands is hurting you.
  8. 08Getting out of ruminationGoing round in circles is not thinking. Here is how to cut it short.
  9. 09Solving the problem in six stepsWhen checking shows the problem is real, you do not reappraise: you act.
  10. 10Reducing your vulnerabilityThe dullest sheet in the binder, and the one that pays best.
  11. 11Expressive writingFour sessions of twenty minutes, for what stays stuck.
  12. 12My personal planOne page that sums up the whole binder for your situation.

Every worksheet in one file, with a table of contents.

emotionsemotion regulationangeranxietyruminationCBT

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