Bedwetting: a guide for parents

1. Before you begin

It is three in the morning. You hear the bedroom door, then a small voice in the hallway: "Mummy, I've done it again." You strip off the wet sheets, hunt for clean pyjamas in the dark, and you count: this is the third time this week. Léo is seven. This evening he begged you not to say anything to his grandmother. In a month, he is going away on a residential trip with his school.

Perhaps you are wondering whether he does it on purpose, whether he simply cannot be bothered to get up, or whether you missed something when he was being toilet trained. Tiredness may have made you say things you regret.

Three things, straight away.

Your child is not doing it on purpose, and cannot stop it by making an effort. Bedwetting happens during sleep, without the child being aware of it. It depends neither on their willpower nor on the way you have brought them up.

It is common, it often runs in families, and it almost always passes in the end. In a class of seven-year-olds, two or three pupils are probably affected, without anyone talking about it. But waiting is not the only option: from about the age of six, when the child is troubled by it, effective treatments exist.

Punishment does not make a child dry. Reproaches add shame to a problem the child does not control, and sanctions seem to undermine treatment rather than help it. What helps is well known: seeing the doctor, putting a few simple habits in place, then, if that is not enough, using an alarm or the medicine the doctor can offer.

2. Bedwetting: what are we talking about?

A technical word for an ordinary thing

Doctors call bedwetting "nocturnal enuresis". The term means that the child passes urine without meaning to while asleep, at an age when they would be expected to be dry at night, that is, from about the age of five. Before that age, wetting the bed is part of normal development.

How many children are affected

There are far more of them than people imagine, because families rarely talk about it. A large British study followed nearly fourteen thousand children: at four and a half, three in ten were still wetting the bed at least now and then, and at nine and a half, nearly one in ten. The Canadian Paediatric Society, which brings together the paediatricians of that country, puts the figures at about 15% of children at five, 10% at seven and 5% at ten. Boys are affected more often than girls. And up to 2% of young adults are still affected, according to the Cochrane reviews, independent syntheses that gather all the trials published on a given question, that is, the studies that compare children treated in different ways.

Primary or secondary, isolated or not

The doctor speaks of primary enuresis if the child has never been reliably dry at night, and of secondary enuresis if they were dry for at least six months before it started again; a return of this kind should always be checked by a doctor. The doctor speaks of isolated, or "monosymptomatic", enuresis, a word that means "with a single symptom", when the child has no other urinary problem. If they also have leaks or urgent needs to go during the day, the doctor will often deal with these daytime problems first.

It often passes on its own, but not always

A study published in 1974 followed more than a thousand children who had not been treated with an alarm. Each year, about 14 to 16% of them became dry on their own, but about 3% were still wetting the bed in adulthood, beyond the age of twenty.

Bedwetting also weighs on the child. In a small Swedish study, sixty-six children who had urine leaks at night, and in some cases during the day as well, had lower self-esteem, that is, a lower opinion of their own worth, than their classmates; after six months of treatment, it had caught up with theirs. The British guidelines also note that treating bedwetting improves children's self-esteem.

The International Children's Continence Society brings together specialists in children's urinary problems; continence is the ability to hold in urine and stools. This society recommends offering active treatment, going beyond simple advice, from the age of six. The British guidelines, published by the institute responsible for setting standards of good care in the United Kingdom and often cited in this guide, set no minimum age: they ask that a younger child, under seven for example, not be excluded on the grounds of age alone, and they consider the alarm or medicine from the age of five, depending on the child's maturity. The right time depends above all on how much the bedwetting troubles your child and on their ability to take part.

3. Why some children wet the bed

Three mechanisms, often combined

The British guidelines describe three mechanisms, which combine differently from one child to another.

The first concerns the amount of urine produced at night. Normally the body produces less of it during sleep, thanks to a hormone called antidiuretic hormone, whose level rises in the evening and which tells the kidneys to slow down. In 1989, a Danish team showed that this rise was smaller in fifteen young people who wet the bed than in eleven young people of the same age who did not, and that they then produced too much urine for the night.

The second concerns the bladder, the reservoir for urine. In some children it contracts before it is full, or it holds less at night than would be expected at that age.

The third concerns waking. When the bladder is full, it sends a signal to the brain, and most children learn to respond to it by waking up or by holding on until morning. In a child who wets the bed, the brain does not respond yet, and many parents describe a child who is almost impossible to wake. This is precisely the setting that the alarm helps to put in place.

None of these mechanisms can be controlled at will.

A family matter

Family studies make heredity the most important factor, even though the child's health and surroundings also count. According to a review of this research, only about one case in three is isolated within its family: in the others, someone else in the family went through the same thing. If that is true in your case, telling your child can be a great relief to them: "I used to wet the bed too, when I was your age. And it stopped."

What it is not

It is neither a lack of willpower nor laziness about getting up, since the child, precisely, does not wake. Nor is it, in itself, a psychological problem: most of the children affected are doing well.

A minority, however, have another difficulty, emotional or behavioural, marked enough to be recognised as a disorder by doctors: between 20 and 30% of children who wet the bed, according to a synthesis reviewed by the members of the International Children's Continence Society. Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, which makes concentrating, getting organised and controlling restlessness harder, goes with bedwetting far more often than chance would predict. The doctor looks for these difficulties without assuming them.

What keeps the problem going

Constipation, which often goes unnoticed, can cause or maintain bedwetting, according to the British guidelines. In an American study of children being followed for long-standing constipation, nearly two out of three of those whose constipation could be treated were no longer wetting the bed a year or more later; as there was no comparison group, how much of this was due to the treatment remains uncertain. Shame, sanctions and giving up treatment too soon do not help either.

4. When to see a doctor, and what the doctor does

The signs that should not wait

Most of the time, bedwetting has no serious cause. A few signs, however, mean that you should see a doctor quickly.

• Unusual thirst, very large amounts of urine, tiredness or weight loss suggest type 1 diabetes, an illness in which the body no longer makes insulin, the hormone that lets sugar into the cells. The NHS, the UK's public health service, actually lists among its signs in children bedwetting that appears in a child who used to be dry, and the British guidelines ask that a child suspected of having this kind of diabetes be seen the same day by a specialist team.
• Bedwetting that comes back within a few days or weeks, in a child who was dry, should be shown to the doctor before any other explanation is considered.
• Fever, burning when passing urine or strong-smelling urine can signal a urinary tract infection, that is, an infection of the bladder or kidneys by germs.
• Leaks during the day, urges so pressing that the child has to run, very frequent or very rare trips to the toilet, more than seven or fewer than four times a day, or a weak stream show that the bladder is not working properly during the day either.
• Constipation, that is, infrequent, hard or painful stools, or traces of stool in the pants, is treated first.
• Snoring almost every night, especially with pauses in breathing, can signal sleep apnoea, repeated stops in breathing often caused by large tonsils or adenoids, the clumps of tissue at the back of the nose.
• New difficulty walking or weakness in the legs needs to be examined, because bedwetting very rarely comes from a problem with the spinal cord, the bundle of nerves housed in the spine.

A review of fourteen observational studies, which describe children without comparing them with a group assigned at random, found that about one child in three who breathed poorly during sleep wet the bed, and that this proportion was roughly halved after the tonsils and adenoids were removed. No comparative trial has yet confirmed this, and some of the children in these studies were so young that their bedwetting was still normal for their age. Children's and teenagers' sleep: a guide for parents describes the signs that should alert you.

With no warning sign

See a doctor as soon as the bedwetting troubles your child or your family, and in any case before using an alarm or medicine. Your GP or a paediatrician, a doctor who specialises in children, will ask you how many nights are wet, what your child drinks, and whether they have leaks during the day or constipation. The doctor will examine your child, and may dip a test strip into a little urine: a small strip that changes colour if there is sugar or signs of infection. With no warning sign, neither a blood test, nor an X-ray, nor a test measuring how the bladder works is needed, according to the International Children's Continence Society.

Before the appointment, note down for one or two weeks the dry and wet nights and what your child drinks. After that, a single sentence is enough: "He's eight, he wets the bed four or five nights a week, and now he refuses to sleep over at his friends' houses. What can we do?"

A psychologist, for their part, becomes useful when the child also has emotional or behavioural difficulties, when shame overwhelms them, or when every wet night turns into an argument. The British guidelines indeed ask professionals to consider help from a psychology professional in these situations, and to discuss support with parents who are struggling to cope, or who feel anger building against their child.

5. What does not work, and what does harm

Some attempts are useless; others make things worse.

Punishing, scolding, shaming

It is a common reaction, and it does damage. In a Brazilian university hospital, nearly nine in ten children and adolescents who came to a consultation for this reason had already been punished because of their wet nights, always with words, and often physically as well. The Cochrane review of the alarm found that penalties seemed counterproductive, that is, they worked against the very aim they were meant to serve, and the British guidelines ask that families be told that bedwetting is not the child's fault and that no punitive measures should be used.

The child does not control their sleep: punishment only teaches them to feel ashamed and to hide. They push the wet pyjamas under the bed, they stop saying anything, and when the alarm comes, every ring will risk turning into a scene. Shame also takes quieter forms, such as making the child wash the sheets so that they "understand", talking about it in front of their brothers and sisters, or putting them back in nappies "like a baby". Changing the sheets with them, calmly, is on the other hand a good thing, as long as it is a shared task and not a way of making amends.

Taking away a reward, or rewarding dry nights

The British guidelines ask that a reward once earned never be taken back, and that actions agreed in advance be rewarded rather than dry nights. The reason is simple: the child does not yet control their nights. A reward linked to dry nights would therefore come at random, and every wet night would become one more failure.

Stopping them from drinking

The idea is intuitive, and it does not work. On the contrary, the British guidelines ask that any restriction of drinks be corrected before any other treatment, for two reasons: drinking too little can mask a bladder problem, and it can prevent the bladder from developing to hold what it should at that age.

Lifting them at night, or making them hold on during the day

Waking the child at around eleven at night, or carrying them to the toilet while they are still asleep, may save a few sheets. But according to the British guidelines, this does not help them become dry in the long term, and the guidelines reserve it for getting through a few nights. A likely explanation: this waking does not come at the moment the bladder empties, whereas the alarm goes off at the very instant the urine starts to flow. The guidelines also advise against making the child hold on for as long as possible during the day, or making them stop their stream when they pass urine. During the day, simply let them go to the toilet when they need to, and at regular intervals.

Remedies presented as miracle cures

For hypnosis, acupuncture, manipulation of the back or herbal remedies, the Cochrane review found only isolated trials, small ones, some of questionable method: the evidence is too weak to recommend them.

If anger gets the better of you

Weeks of broken nights wear anyone down, and loving parents sometimes shout, or lash out in a way they regret at once. Rough handling hurts the child and does not stop the bedwetting. If it has happened, or if you feel it could happen, this is not the moment to be hard on yourself, it is the moment to ask for help: from the doctor, from a psychologist, from someone close who will take over for a few nights. Anger: understanding it and regulating it can also help you. If you are afraid of losing control, or if you are worried about a child, you should know that in France, 119, the national telephone helpline for children in danger, also answers parents in difficulty; it is free and available day and night. Elsewhere, contact the child protection services or a parent helpline in your country: your doctor can tell you about them.

6. Simple measures, to start tonight

These first measures come mainly from the British guidelines, which ask that they be continued throughout treatment. They have been little studied: a Cochrane review devoted to simple methods, such as rewards or waking the child at night, concludes that they might do better than nothing, but less well than the alarm, on thin evidence. They are sometimes enough, and they prepare the ground for what comes next.

Talking about it with your child

Choose a calm moment, not three in the morning, and explain it in words that suit their age: "Your body hasn't learned one of its night-time settings yet. When your bladder is full, your brain doesn't wake up yet. It isn't your fault, and we're going to help it learn together." Ask them what bothers them most: their answer will tell you where to put your efforts. Protect their privacy too: it is not discussed with the neighbours or with guests, and among brothers and sisters, nobody makes fun of it. Between adults, agree on the approach, away from the child: no punishment, the same plan for everyone, and taking turns at night.

Drinking well, at the right time

Your child should drink enough, especially in the morning and afternoon, and a little less after the evening meal, as the Canadian Paediatric Society advises. The British guidelines give a benchmark: between one and one and a half litres of drinks a day for a child aged four to eight, more for an older child, if it is hot or if they are very active. That might mean a glass at breakfast, a water bottle emptied at school, a glass with an after-school snack and another at the evening meal, with no big glass afterwards. If they are thirsty in the evening, they drink. The British and Canadian guidelines also advise avoiding drinks that contain caffeine, such as tea, coffee, cola and energy drinks. Their own effect on bedwetting has been little measured, but caffeine can make you pass more urine, and a child does not need it.

The toilet, regularly, and just before sleep

The British guidelines advise passing urine at regular intervals, usually four to seven times a day, the last time just before sleep: for example on waking, at break time, at lunchtime, on getting home from school and before the light goes off. Ask your child whether they feel able to use the toilets at school: some children hold on all day because the toilets are dirty or offer little privacy. If that is the case, talk to the teacher. At night, a night light in the hallway makes the trip easier.

Protecting the bed without shaming

A mattress protector, a waterproof cover laid over the mattress, saves a great deal of washing. One practical tip, which comes from families' experience rather than from studies, is to make the bed in double layers: a protector and a sheet, then a second protector and a second sheet on top. At night, you remove the top protector and sheet, and the bed underneath is dry. A spare pair of pyjamas laid out near the bed lets an older child change on their own. When the child is dry during the day, the British guidelines suggest a trial without nappies or absorbent pants at night; if the trial makes the nights too hard, the protection comes back, without comment, because it must never be used to shame.

The calendar and rewards

For two weeks, note each morning with your child whether the night was dry or wet, with a sun or a cloud drawn on a sheet of paper. This calendar will show where you are starting from, give the doctor useful information, and later reveal progress that tiredness would hide from you.

The British guidelines advise rewarding behaviours agreed in advance, never dry nights. Choose together two or three actions that depend on your child, such as finishing their water bottle at school, having a last wee before bed or helping to change the sheets. Each action earns a sticker, and a few stickers earn a small reward that your child has chosen.

How long to try

For a young child who already has some dry nights, the British guidelines suggest first trying a reward system on its own, together with these simple habits. They set no duration: if the calendar shows no progress after a few weeks and your child is troubled by the bedwetting, talk to the doctor about the alarm or medicine.

Before the age of five

According to the same guidelines, about one child in five aged four and a half wets the bed at least once a week, and most often there is no treatment to put in place. If the child wakes at night, take them to the toilet. If they have been dry during the day for more than six months, you can try at least two nights in a row without a nappy. Constipation, on the other hand, or leaks during the day in a child who otherwise knows how to use the toilet, should be shown to the doctor, even before the age of five.

7. The alarm: how it works, and what it achieves

The principle

A bedwetting alarm combines a sensor, placed in the underwear or slipped under the sheet in the form of a mat, and a unit that rings or vibrates at the first drops of urine. It does not hurt and it does not punish: it signals. Night after night, it links voiding, that is, the moment when the bladder starts to empty, with waking. Its aim, according to the British guidelines, is for the child to learn to notice the need to pass urine, and then to wake up or hold on by themselves.

What the studies show

The 2005 Cochrane review, which brought together fifty-five trials, found that about two children in three became dry while using the alarm, and that nearly half of those who had used it to the end stayed dry after stopping, compared with almost no children without treatment. Its 2020 update, covering seventy-four trials and nearly six thousand children, judges these trials to be of low quality, meaning that their methods leave a lot of room for doubt. The alarm might do better than no treatment, and it is not known whether it does better, during treatment, than the medicine described in section 9. On the other hand, it probably leaves slightly more children dry after stopping, and it probably causes fewer side effects, that is, unwanted effects, than that medicine.

Its drawback is the effort it demands. According to the Canadian Paediatric Society, a course of treatment usually lasts twelve to sixteen weeks, and in clinical trials about three families in ten give up along the way.

For which child

The British guidelines offer the alarm first when simple measures have not been enough. They consider it unsuitable when the child or the parents do not want it, when the bedwetting is infrequent, fewer than one or two nights a week, or when the parents, exhausted or angry with the child, are struggling to cope; that exhaustion is then dealt with first, with the help of a professional. Two questions therefore decide. Does your child want to try? Can you get up at night for a few weeks? Before the age of seven, the decision depends on the child's maturity.

Getting one

There are models worn on the body, mats, and models that vibrate, which are useful for a child who is deaf or hard of hearing. Depending on the country, the alarm is bought, rented or lent by the health services; in the United Kingdom, for example, the guidelines provide for the family to return it at the end of treatment. Ask the doctor or pharmacist for advice.

8. The alarm, step by step

Choose a calm period to start, neither the week of a house move nor the day before the holidays.

1. Get to know the device in broad daylight. Your child sets it up, puts a drop of water on the sensor, hears it go off and switches it off themselves. A sound they have already heard is far less frightening at night.
2. Decide who does what. As the British guidelines suggest, share out the roles in advance: who gets up, who wakes the child, who changes the sheets with them, who fills in the calendar.
3. Rehearse the scene on several evenings before the first night. Your child lies down with their eyes closed and you set off the alarm. They get up, switch it off, go and finish their wee in the toilet, change if need be, reset the alarm and go back to bed. When they are pulled out of sleep, they will find it easier to repeat actions they have already rehearsed.
4. Put it on every night, without exception. The learning builds up night after night. During this period, the child wears neither nappies nor absorbent pants, which would stop the sensor from reacting in time.
5. When it goes off, wake them up completely. They must be standing, with their eyes open, able to answer a simple question, such as their teacher's name. A child who switches off the alarm and goes back to sleep learns nothing. Avoid sighs and reproaches: the scene must stay neutral.
6. In the morning, write it down and give praise. Note on the calendar whether the night was dry or wet, the time the alarm went off, the size of the wet patch, and whether your child woke up on their own. Reward what depends on them: getting up when the alarm went off, going to the toilet, resetting the alarm.
7. Take stock after four weeks. Dry nights come last. Look first for the early signs described by the British guidelines: smaller wet patches, a child who wakes when the alarm goes off without your help, an alarm that goes off later in the night and less often, fewer wet nights. If you see them, carry on. If you see none even though the alarm has been used properly, talk to the doctor again.
8. Continue until fourteen dry nights in a row. That is the benchmark for stopping, and fourteen scattered dry nights are not enough. If your child is not completely dry after three months, you only continue if they are still making progress and the family wishes to.
9. Stop, while keeping the device close at hand for a while. You may hear about a consolidation technique called overlearning: once the child is dry, they drink more in the evening, with the alarm still in place, until they achieve a run of dry nights again. The 2005 Cochrane review found fewer relapses with this technique. But the Canadian Paediatric Society urges caution, because in a child whose bladder contracts too early or who produces a lot of urine at night, drinking more in the evening can instead make the bedwetting worse, and the British guidelines do not offer it. So do not try it on your own: it is only done if the doctor suggests it, and never with the medicine in section 9.

The difficulties of the first weeks

The 2020 Cochrane review lists the problems reported with the alarm. Knowing about them stops you from mistaking them for failure.

The child does not wake up. This is the leading cause of failure, according to the Canadian Paediatric Society, and you should expect it. For a few weeks, it is the parent who hears the alarm and wakes the child; a louder alarm or a vibrating model can help.

The alarm goes off for no reason. This does happen: check the position of the sensor, and ask the pharmacist or doctor for advice if it keeps happening.

A brother or sister wakes up. Explain to them what is going on, and if the bedroom is shared, consider changing who sleeps where for a few weeks.

The device is frightening. Go back to the daytime rehearsals. If your child's fears go well beyond the alarm, Supporting your anxious child offers a method.

You are exhausted. Many families find the alarm too demanding, notes the Canadian Paediatric Society. Take turns between adults, or ask someone close to take over one night a week.

9. The medicine the doctor can offer

What it does

The medicine most often prescribed for bedwetting reproduces the action of the antidiuretic hormone described in section 3. Taken in the evening, it reduces the amount of urine the kidneys make for about eight hours. It acts quickly, often from the first few days. Its main drawback is well known: in many children, the bedwetting returns when it is stopped, up to seven times out of ten according to the Canadian Paediatric Society.

What the studies say, and when it is offered

According to the Cochrane review updated in 2025, which brings together ninety-five trials, this medicine probably allows more children to reach fourteen dry nights in a row than a placebo, a tablet with no active ingredient. It might be as effective as the alarm at the end of treatment, but the alarm would leave slightly more children dry after stopping, and the quality of most of these trials remains low or very low.

The International Children's Continence Society puts this medicine and the alarm on the same footing, as first choices. The British guidelines offer it mainly when a quick result matters, for a school trip for example, when the alarm is not suitable, or in combination with the alarm when the alarm alone has not been enough.

The rules to follow

This medicine comes with a strict rule about evening drinks. In general, the child drinks nothing, or only a few sips, from the hour before taking it until eight hours afterwards, which in practice means until the next morning. The details vary between countries and between doctors: follow the instructions of your doctor or pharmacist. During the day, on the other hand, the child drinks normally. This rule protects against a rare but serious risk: if the child drinks a lot while their kidneys are holding on to water, the salt in their blood becomes diluted, which can cause headaches, vomiting, drowsiness and, rarely, seizures.

These particular signs do not depend on the country. The British leaflet for families asks that the child be taken to hospital if they have a severe headache, unusual drowsiness or vomiting; if they have a seizure, that is, involuntary jerking of the body, often with loss of consciousness, call the emergency services. A swollen face, hands or feet, unexplained weight gain or nausea mean you should call the doctor straight away, and not give the medicine again until the doctor agrees. The same leaflet asks that the treatment be paused while the child is vomiting or has diarrhoea, and the Canadian Paediatric Society advises against giving it on evenings when the child needs to drink a lot, after sport for example: ask the doctor what to do in these situations.

Overlearning is never used during this treatment; you never change the dose yourself, never give a double dose to make up for a missed one, never give this medicine to a brother or sister, and you keep it out of children's reach.

Other medicines

Other treatments exist. The guidelines reserve them for specialist doctors, when the alarm and this first medicine have not been enough, and some of them are dangerous if too large an amount is taken by accident.

10. When things stall, when it comes back

The alarm achieves nothing

Before drawing conclusions, check how it has been used. Was it put on every night? Was your child really woken every time it went off, or were they switching it off and going back to sleep? An alarm that has been used badly proves nothing: you correct how it is used, and then you judge. If it has been used properly and there is no progress at all, that is a reason to see the doctor again, who may combine it with the medicine or switch to the medicine. If several treatments, properly carried out, fail, the British guidelines provide for a specialist opinion, for example from a paediatrician or a urologist, a specialist in the urinary tract, who will look for a bladder that contracts too readily, an illness that has gone unnoticed, or family and emotional difficulties.

The bedwetting comes back

A relapse after success is common: according to the Canadian Paediatric Society, up to half of children treated with the alarm start wetting the bed again after it is stopped. This is not failure, and it can be treated. A single wet night does not count: you change the sheets and carry on. If wet nights come back regularly, the British guidelines specify that parents can bring the alarm out again immediately, without waiting for an appointment. If relapses keep happening, the doctor may suggest combining the alarm and the medicine.

Two homes

When a child lives between two homes, the calendar and the alarm travel with them, and both parents agree on the same rules. Supporting a child or adolescent through their parents' separation helps to build this kind of agreement.

11. Particular situations

Nights away: friends' houses, school trips, holiday camps

As far as possible, do not cancel these stays: avoiding them risks isolating your child and deepening their shame. Prepare for them together. An adult on the trip is told discreetly, and your child knows who it is. A few practical tips, which come from families' experience rather than from studies, also help: an absorbent pad slipped into the sleeping bag makes a wet night much less noticeable, and a spare pair of pyjamas travels in a plastic bag. If your child wishes, discreet absorbent pants are acceptable for a few nights. The doctor can also suggest the medicine for the length of the stay: raise it a few weeks before departure, so that there is time to check at home that it works. Finally, prepare a short sentence in case a classmate notices something: "I spilt my water bottle." If teasing sets in, Bullying and cyberbullying: a guide for parents will help you respond.

The teenager

At this age, bedwetting weighs very heavily and is kept hidden. Talk to your teenager one to one, and let them take the lead: they are the one who decides with the doctor, who keeps the calendar, who sets the alarm. When treatments have failed, the British guidelines point out that a wake-up alarm they set themselves, on their phone for example, can help them manage their nights. If they seem low, or give up everything that would mean sleeping away from home, talk to the doctor about it.

The child with ADHD

Children who have both ADHD and bedwetting find it harder to stick to the treatment, and the results suffer. More structure is therefore needed: a bedtime routine displayed in pictures, parents who stay in charge of the alarm, rewards given straight away rather than at the end of the week. Specialists also recommend treating the ADHD in its own right, which might make treating the bedwetting easier, and ADHD in children and teenagers: the strategies that work at home describes these tools in detail.

After a difficult event

A birth, a house move, a separation, a bereavement or difficulties at school can set off a return of bedwetting. It should first be shown to the doctor, like any return. After that, the bedwetting is treated while the child is supported through what they are going through, and the alarm is not ruled out.

Most often, the explanation is an ordinary one. The British guidelines nonetheless ask professionals to consider maltreatment as well when a return persists despite appropriate care, with no medical explanation and no identified life event, such as a bereavement or a separation. If your child seems afraid of an adult or a place, or if their behaviour has changed suddenly, talk to the doctor about it. If you fear that an adult is hurting your child, 119 in France, or the child protection services elsewhere, can also advise you.

The child with a disability

For a child who is deaf or hard of hearing, choose a vibrating alarm. For a child with a learning disability or a physical disability, the British guidelines ask that the alarm be adapted to the child's needs and abilities, and it can help to do more daytime rehearsals.

12. Frequently asked questions

At what age does bedwetting become a problem? Before the age of five, wetting the bed is part of normal development. After that, many children become dry on their own, but treatment is generally offered from the age of six, and earlier if the child is troubled by it and is able to take part.

Is my child doing it on purpose, or out of laziness? No. Bedwetting happens during sleep, without the child realising it. It depends on the amount of urine produced at night, on how the bladder works, and on a brain that does not yet wake up at the signal of a full bladder.

Should I stop my child drinking in the evening? No. They drink mainly in the morning and afternoon, a little less after the evening meal, and they are never deprived of water if they are thirsty. The only exception concerns treatment with the medicine, which comes with a strict rule that the doctor or pharmacist will explain to you.

Can my child keep wearing absorbent pants at night? Yes, if it helps, provided the pants are never used to shame them, and a trial without protection is suggested once they are dry during the day. During alarm treatment, on the other hand, they do not wear them.

Is it psychological? Most often, no. A minority of children also have another difficulty, such as ADHD, which deserves to be identified and treated. The shame, though, is very real: that is why anything that makes it worse is avoided.

Won't the alarm frighten my child? A few children are frightened of it at first. The daytime rehearsals, in which the child sets it off and switches it off themselves, help a great deal. It does not hurt, and it probably has fewer side effects than the medicine.

How long does the alarm need to be used? Expect several weeks before the first signs and, most often, twelve to sixteen weeks in all. You take stock at four weeks by looking at the size of the wet patches and at the waking, and you stop after fourteen dry nights in a row.

Is the medicine dangerous? Its side effects are mostly minor, such as mild headaches, dizziness or tummy ache. The serious risk, which is rare, is a dilution of the salt in the blood if the child drinks a lot during treatment, hence the strict rule about evening drinks. A severe headache, unusual drowsiness, vomiting or a seizure mean you must take the child to hospital.

My child is going on a residential school trip in three weeks. What should we do? Talk to the doctor straight away; the doctor may suggest the medicine for the length of the stay if they think it would be useful. Prepare the rest with your child: an adult told discreetly, a pad in the sleeping bag, a spare pair of pyjamas and a sentence ready to use.

My child had been dry for a year, and now it is starting again. Should I be worried? See a doctor, without panicking, and on the same day if your child is drinking much more, passing a lot of urine, losing weight or seems very tired. Also ask yourself, together with your child, what has changed in their life over the last few weeks.

I used to wet the bed too. Should I tell my child? If you feel able to, yes. Knowing that a parent went through it, and then came out the other side, is a great relief to many children. It is also a very concrete way of showing them that it is not their fault.

13. Key points

• Bedwetting is common and often runs in families, and your child is not doing it on purpose: it depends on mechanisms of sleep, the kidneys and the bladder that they do not control.
• Intense thirst, large amounts of urine, tiredness or weight loss mean seeing a doctor the same day.
• Leaks during the day, constipation, burning when passing urine or a return after a dry period should also prompt a visit to the doctor.
• Punishing, scolding, humiliating or taking away a reward already earned does not make a child dry, and it undermines treatment.
• Depriving the child of drinks, lifting them at a fixed time or making them hold on during the day does not help them become dry.
• The first measures are simple: drinking well during the day, going to the toilet regularly and before sleep, keeping a calendar, and rewarding what depends on the child.
• The alarm probably leaves slightly more children dry after stopping than the medicine does, provided it is put on every night and wakes the child completely.
• With the alarm, dry nights come last: at four weeks, you look first at the size of the wet patches and at the waking.
• The medicine the doctor can offer works quickly, but the bedwetting often returns when it is stopped, and it comes with a strict rule about evening drinks.
• A relapse is common and can be treated: after success with the alarm, parents can bring it out again that very evening, without waiting for an appointment.

14. Sources and foundations

This guide is an original text written for Psychotip. It draws on published work, without reproducing material from any proprietary programme. The guide itself names no medicine and gives no doses; only some reference titles, cited as they were published, name one.

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Caldwell, P. H. Y., Codarini, M., Stewart, F., Hahn, D., & Sureshkumar, P. (2020). Alarm interventions for nocturnal enuresis in children. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 2020(5), Article CD002911. https://doi.org/10.1002/14651858.CD002911.pub3

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National Health Service. (2024, 31 octobre). Symptoms of type 1 diabetes and how it's diagnosed. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/type-1-diabetes/symptoms/

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Niemczyk, J., Equit, M., Hoffmann, L., & von Gontard, A. (2015). Incontinence in children with treated attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. Journal of Pediatric Urology, 11(3), 141.e1-141.e6. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpurol.2015.02.009

Rittig, S., Knudsen, U. B., Nørgaard, J. P., Pedersen, E. B., & Djurhuus, J. C. (1989). Abnormal diurnal rhythm of plasma vasopressin and urinary output in patients with enuresis. American Journal of Physiology-Renal Physiology, 256(4), F664-F671. https://doi.org/10.1152/ajprenal.1989.256.4.F664

Sapi, M. C., Vasconcelos, J. S. P., Silva, F. G., Damião, R., & da Silva, E. A. (2009). Assessment of domestic violence against children and adolescents with enuresis. Jornal de Pediatria, 85(5), 433-437. https://doi.org/10.2223/JPED.1935

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von Gontard, A., Baeyens, D., Van Hoecke, E., Warzak, W. J., & Bachmann, C. (2011). Psychological and psychiatric issues in urinary and fecal incontinence. The Journal of Urology, 185(4), 1432-1437. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.juro.2010.11.051

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Content last reviewed: 2026.