Emotion regulation: the toolkit

This programme supports personal work or ongoing treatment; it does not replace it. It makes no diagnosis. If you are hurting yourself physically, if you are thinking about dying, or if the intensity of what you feel makes you fear for your safety or that of someone close to you, emotion regulation is not what you need first: contact a professional this week, and your local emergency services immediately if there is danger. Some of the difficulties described here accompany depression, an anxiety disorder, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder or ADHD — section 17 explains how to recognise them.

1. Before you start

You snapped at someone you love, over an ordinary sentence. You spent the night replaying a three-minute conversation. You cancelled an evening you had been looking forward to because the idea of going out became unbearable within an hour. You sent a message you reread the next day with a cold feeling in your stomach. Or else you no longer feel much of anything, and that worries you more.

And you already know the advice. Breathe. Take a step back. Keep it in proportion. Don't let it take over. You have tried all of it, precisely at the moment when none of it could be applied — and it gave you nothing.